Catherine Crawford was a typical NYC parent who envied the obedience of her French friends’ children. So she researched French parenting methods, tried them herself, and documented the journey in her book French Twist. Perhaps the best testimony to her success at “being French” was when her daughter’s friend was over and wanted more dessert. Before she could respond herself her young daughter said, “Don’t even try it. Begging doesn’t work on my mom. Let’s go play.”
Here is her Abridged Version of French Discipline:
1 Don’t forget you are the chief
2 Structure/ritual creates discipline
3 Kids are tougher than you think
4 Let the punishment fit the crime
5 Don’t back down
6 Don’t be afraid of right and wrong
7 More stuff isn’t answer
8 If there is no blood, don’t get up
A key point she discovered was that French parents believe that "enforcing discipline and cultivating self-restraint in children is the truest expression of love." It is “important for the children, that parents let them be alone, solve their own problems, and experience - and get over- discomfort.”
The book covers topics including discipline, meals, screen time, cultivating intentional values in your kids, avoiding tantrums etc. She also includes a comparison chart of French vs. American school lunches (which is pretty depressing actually).
MY TAKE AWAYS
I could’t agree more with this sentiment from her introduction: “most of all I was tired of negotiating over everything, I needed to get French!” Here are some concrete changes I’m making as a culmination of reading this and other parenting books:
* Clean up & organize toys (put them out of reach so she needs to ask for what she wants to play with and then cleans them up after)
* Retry Quiet Rest Time for almost 4 year old who no longer naps (able to offer toys to occupy her from new cleaned up system)
* Establish Evening Routine - after dinner I want to move right into brushing teeth, bath, reading a Bible story, & bed (sometimes she had a choice about what to do and we didn’t always do things in the same order, but I think the expectation of that routine will help with bedtime struggle, à la #2 above)
* Bake a weekly dessert together!
* Broaden kids exposure to unique foods by following her French friend’s example and having “color” themed meals (ie. Tofu, endives, brie for white and salmon, beets, goat cheese/marinara pasta for pink).
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